Homily, July 2, 2023
From The Pastor
Why does it seem like Jesus is always saying things backwards and contrary to normal human understanding? How do we find ourselves only to become lost and lose ourselves only to be found. How do we measure love for parents, siblings, spouse, or children against the manner of our love for God, for Jesus?
Backwards as these sayings may appear, they are the foundation of a mature spiritual life in the Lord Jesus. In our well-to-do consumerist culture, our sense of personal identity is deeply influenced by all that surrounds us. The greater part of who we think we are comes from the culture we live in. It is easy and commonly acceptable that we yield ourselves to the ways and rhythms of those around us. The real self can become hidden or buried under who we think we are supposed to be.
When you talk about family it becomes personal. Are we not supposed to love our families of origin and find identity and security from those who most love us? Yes, we are. The concern Jesus points out is the frequent problem of over identifying with our family unit, our friend group, or only those who share our way of thinking. This over identification limits our freedom to become the person God has called us to be.
There is a story about a young man in his early forties who lived at home. He worked at a job with little creativity, motivation, or satisfaction. He was not happy and grew less and less invested in his life. In therapy, it became clear that he had never separated, or individuated from his parents. His overprotective parents created with clear expectations who the son should be and how he was to care for them. The man lacked the courage or freedom to separate himself from their selfish and manipulative behaviors. Feeling trapped, this young man surrendered himself to what his parents expected in the name of love. His creative ambitions for the arts and music were buried under his inability or lack of freedom to maturely separate from his family of origin. The manipulative love of family left him lost and unfulfilled. He had not yet realized who God created him to be.
This is one example of thousands. Separating from parents does not mean you abandon them or leave them in the image of the wayward Prodigal Son. What he did was right. The way he did it was way off based.
The readings have a clear tone of hospitality and generosity. What does this have to do with separation from home and not becoming trapped in over identification with one’s social groups? A spirit of hospitality and generosity is evidence of a free, self-realized person. If we are always living under the image and ideas of another, we will lack the freedom and creativity of our own unique goodness. We will not know who we really are, or who we could be if we were not limited by the group think of our family and friends. This is the point Jesus is working toward.
Jesus was a uniquely free individual. His core identity flowed from the love of his Father. The love of the Father was free and creative. Jesus was not bound to this love like a dependent child in need of a protective parent. The love of the Father was fully accepted by the Son through a free choice of self-surrender. This love brought Jesus great joy, peace, and freedom to live in the Father’s love with courage and boldness. Jesus was not forced or made to do anything by the Father. Jesus found the fullness of himself in the Father’s love and this love bore great fruit for all creation realized in our redemption.
Jesus loved his mother but did not allow her love to cloud or hinder the path of his life. Nor did Mary seek to interfere or hold him back for the sake of her own interest. Mary knew well her role in the coming of the Savior. She accepted her role and fully realized herself by surrendering to the love that bore such great fruit for the world. Mary was fully generous in her hospitality to receive and welcome the message of Angel Gabriel to become the mother of our Savior.
What does this look like for you and me? The challenge is to know yourself and seek to the best of your ability to become the person God has called you to be. This is a lifelong journey. As people of faith seeking the life of the Spirit, it should become obvious at some point that our deepest identity is in Christ. God through Christ is our origin, our nature, and our deepest longing. To discover and realize this inner truth will take many and various turns that will seem like the right way but will leave us searching further. This becomes the way of the Cross.
Evidence of being the person you are called to be will show itself in various forms of hospitality and generosity. This has as many faces and ways of being as there are people in the world. As a Catholic priest, I will never have the hospitality of an Italian grandmother with ten kids. You get the picture. Who are you in Christ and who do you allow Christ to be in you? Where is your hospitality and generosity evident? Where might you be stuck under the expectations of others that are not yours to carry? Ask Jesus to show you the way. He surely has one uniquely for you.
Father John Esper
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