Reflection, July 21, 2024
From The Pastor
As I mentioned, or perhaps failed to mention, I am currently in the midst of my annual retreat. I will return to the parish later this week. Since my ordination, I have looked forward to this annual time of rest and prayer with the Lord. It has never failed to be a time of blessing and renewal. Please pray for me during this time, as I will continue my prayer for you.
It is only by coincidence that the gospel today has Jesus calling the disciples to an out of the way place for rest and prayer. Last Sunday’s gospel had Jesus sending the disciples out on their first missionary experience. He had empowered them to deliver demons, heal the sick, and preach the coming of the Kingdom. Now on their return, the disciples excitedly report to Jesus all that had happened along the way and the power they had in his name.
Completing this time of ministry, Jesus calls the disciples to a deserted place to pray, share fellowship, and rest. Jesus himself has need for this time of respite. He has just learned about the beheading of John the Baptist. Jesus needs to step away and ponder the loss of this cousin and the meaning of this violent event. It is obvious that Jesus deeply valued prayer as an essential part of his relationship with the Father as he sought to bring new life to the world.
What happens on a retreat? What does one do and how do you know you are ‘doing it right.’ First, there are several types of retreats. Some are silent when a person simply chooses to spend time alone in rest and prayer. Some retreats are directed. In this case, the retreatant spends several periods of the day in prayer, and then meets with a spiritual director for conversation. This is what I do. There are also preached retreats when a group listens to the reflections of a retreat leader. There are scheduled times for conferences, rest, personal prayer, Mass, etc. This is typical for the inner healing retreat I lead at Manresa twice a year.
How can a retreat be helpful? What is supposed to happen on a retreat? Intentionally, it is a time of prayer, reflection, learning, or pondering one’s life before the Lord. It is a time to pay attention to the grace God sends. Not a vacation, but a restful attentiveness to the L ord. It is simply the gift of freely and willingly choosing to spend time with God for whatever intention lies in the heart of the retreatant.
In prayer, we tend to look for spiritual progress or tangible response from the Lord. What the Lord notices is the desire of our hearts in love for him. Like all of us, God loves to be loved, appreciated, thanked, and honored. Looking at the desire of our hearts, we seek to align our heart to that of Jesus. What we desire is often the desire of the Lord for us. In other words, the one you want, wants you.
A mature prayer life takes time. There will be many ups and downs, distractions, and seeming failures along the way. Yet, in developing any deep relationship of trust, not much goes to waste. Patience and persistence are necessary virtues for the long haul of a deeper relationship with God, or anyone else. I came across this image recently: things that are soft grow fast and are easy to smash, like a tomato, or garden squash. Things that are hard grow slowly and are hard to destroy, like an oak tree. Prayer is like that, slow and steady leads to strong and secure.
Many resist the quiet of a retreat for fear of too much silence, boredom, or facing inner emotions. This is a great tragedy in our culture. The unconscious and mindless resistance to quiet rest is an active defense against the richness of our souls before God. The constant noise and use of technology devices is a serious hindrance to an interior life and a capacity to know ourselves peacefully in the Lord. Times of quiet may cause us to feel unwanted emotions or inner tensions we prefer not to feel. Yet, the silence we resist is the very solution we need to resolve such tension and find the wisdom and inner peace we seek. Quiet calm practiced regularly is a healing balm for the body and soul.
The rest gained on a retreat is not the same as more sleep and time to slumber. Retreat rest is Sabbath rest; it is holy and active in its desire to be with the Lord. This rest teaches us to be at home to ourselves with the confidence of God’s presence. Such rest is an act of courage to surrender the activity of life and yield our dependence on the providence of God’s mercy. This kind of rest creates a conscious attention and capacity to live the life we intend with meaningful purpose rather than accepting life as is seems to just happen unaware.
This kind of prayer and inner rest is a corner stone of the Christian life and happy living. It is meant for all of us and not just for those who have the freedom to be on a retreat. Such prayer practices can and should be created at home in some form daily. Some days will be great, other days not so much. Some days will be missed, and others will swell with grace. Jesus is not looking for successful production quotas, but the longing desire of your heart. Prayer is just loving God, trusting God with our needs, longings, sufferings, and contrition. Sometimes this is no more than thirty seconds of grateful praise or a quick moment of petition. Practice makes the heart strong and secure in the Lord. Be still and enjoy the present moment.
Father John Esper
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